On the eve of Ramadhaan a stillness has descended over the world that I can describe only as Ramadhaan Quiet. That special mettle of quiet that is ponderous with the duas being sent on high, the whispered wishes of a million hearts yearning for communion with the Beloved.
For me it is the time that I wobble up to the starting line on shaky faith, hoping, praying that the thirtieth day sees me on sturdier legs, a spirit fortified by obedience to my Rabb whose care for me, whose watching over me never ceases, even when I take my gaze away from Him, when I am distracted by myriad other pursuits designed to make me negligent.
For reasons I cannot fathom, this verse of the Quraan has lodged itself in my head:
۞ وَمَا أُبَرِّئُ نَفْسِي ۚ إِنَّ النَّفْسَ لَأَمَّارَةٌ بِالسُّوءِ إِلَّا مَا رَحِمَ رَبِّي ۚ إِنَّ رَبِّي غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ
Nor do I absolve my own self (of blame): the (human soul) is certainly prone to evil unless my Lord do bestow His Mercy: but surely certainly my Lord is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful." (12 : 53 & 54)
Taken from the story of Yusuf (AS), a story that Allah calls ‘ahsanul qasas’ – The most beautiful of stories. A story of Faith, of trust, of “complaining of one’s distress and grief to Allah alone”. We all have our sorrows. The things that stick, right here, in the chest. The things that weigh us down. That make us sigh. May we raise our hands, knock at His door, persistent, patient, knowing that He will always do what is best for us. Even when we cannot quite grasp His reasons.
I ask of His Mercy that I may be more than Nafsun Ammarah. That I may be inspired, guided, to seek from His mercy, to elevate my soul, to draw nearer unto Him. I ask that for my loved ones. That we may all understand the gravity of this month of Mercy, Forgiveness and Emancipation from the Fire. That we may desire His Mercy. That we may immerse ourselves in His Word - this is, after all, the month of the Quraan.
That we may read the letter He has written us, linger over the words, taste their sweetness in our mouths. Imbibe them, fully desirous of living them. Become an embodiment of the message He chose for us.
His promise is true.
۞ قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful (39:53)
May our yearning for Him far exceed our yearning for the world. Aameen, ya Arhamar Raahimeen.