Facebook did it!

Wanting

By Megan Hall

Wanting’s a powerful word.

I don’t want to be left wanting,

Want to be unafraid to want.

Wanting puts your heart out on a string,

Trawling for the thing that’s wanting you.

There’s no hook, except maybe forever.

I sometimes wonder. Will FB be blamed for Global Warming eventually? All those people sitting with their cell phones, on laptops, and booking the Face out of Facebook. Surely they must be emitting some kind of negative energy. There will probably be a long winded scientific explanation for it. Complete with Pie Charts and Graphs. Just you wait!

Already, Facebook become the scapegoat for the high divorce rate in the Muslim community. A sentiment, which to me is nothing short of ludicrous.

Let’s begin at the beginning and ask the question very few would dare answer. Why Facebook?

And why do we? Married people, who have LIVES, why do we?

I shall brave the wrath of the Anti-Sweeping-Generalisation Brigade and stick my neck out by saying:

every married person who finds their way onto FB is seeking something that their spouse is unable to provide. Or they're promoting a business/book/product ;)

I’m not going to take a ‘poke’ at figuring out what exactly that ‘something’ is for others, but I do know, from the interaction I see, that there are those trying to fill an empty marriage. Escape a miserable one. And perhaps even find love, while they’re married!

For me, it’s intellectual stimulation.

And in my quest for the perfect wordsmith, the person or people capable of sparring with words, I have come across whackheads looking for ‘play’, psychos trying to find a way of being less psychotic, and young men in India looking for easy South African women.

It can get pretty crazy sometimes.

I’ve heard stories of divorce because the husbands or wives were having affairs with people they’d met on Facebook. But can Facebook really be blamed? And if you’re in a troubled marriage, is Facebook the solution?

Or has Facebook just made it easier for people looking to be faithless to manifest their faithlessness and lack of commitment? Made it easier to find the thing you’re wanting, ‘cos guess what? It’s wanting you too…

When we remember that every ‘instrument’ is only as good or bad as its user, then we will accept that the problem lies not with Facebook.

It lies in lack of communication in marriages. A lack of honesty, of integrity. In people staying in marriages that aren’t working for them, for fear of being judged by society should they opt out. If your spouse is not meeting your needs, then perhaps you need to address the issue and find a way around it as opposed to seeking that emotional fulfilment elsewhere. For, all that brings is heartache for all concerned. All it does it become a justification for acting in ways that destroy us within, in the long run.

Bottom line : If your marriage is floundering, Facebook IS NOT the solution!

So what has Facebook done for me? It's been a rewarding experience.

I have found ‘sisters’. Ones I would never have otherwise met. We’ve bonded and the relationships I share with them are very special. I stay in touch with people I shared a classroom space with, back in the day. I promote my business.

Lest I be seen as the perfect Facebooker, allow me to confess. I'm not blameless. I mess up sometimes. But I’m hoping, in time, I’ll get better at it. Wish me luck!